Social Issues

“Love is when he is mean to you….”

“Love is when he is mean to you and you still want him.  It’s when he ignores you and you still love him.  It’s when he loves another girl, but you still smile and say I’m happy for you, when all you really want to do is cry.”

I found this quote online while searching for another.  Makes me wonder.  If this is what love really is, then what the hell have I been doing all these years?!  I have been loving my husband so wrong!   I should allow my husband to be mean to me and ignore me.  Rather yet, I should’ve been mean to him this whole time and it would’ve been love.  [Sarcasm].

It’s beliefs like these that makes people cling onto bad relationships.  It’s beliefs like these that make people vulnerable and blind to unhealthy relationships.  Yes, by all means, hurt me because that is how love should be.  I will do whatever it is to make you happy, even if it is to endure all the pain and heartache.

It’s a bunch of bull shit.  Only immature kids would believe in this kind of crap.  And they do.  They’re more likely to take these words into consideration.

Instead of teaching young people that love is only one-sided and love is all about sacrifice, we should teach them the healthy ways to love another.  Compromise, commitment, respect, boundaries, and so much more.

This quote reminds me of Eminen and Rihanna’s song, “Love the way you lie.”   It tells the story of an abusive relationship from both sides, the abuser and the victim.  And the victim’s words are:

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But it’s all right because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s all right because I love the way you lie.

Who wants to be abused in a relationship?  Domestic violence victims and survivors don’t ask to get hurt.  The quote above and this song is telling its audience that unrequited love and abuse is okay.  Why?  Because that’s how love is.  Kind of the wrong message, don’t you think?

7 thoughts on ““Love is when he is mean to you….”

  1. Its starts with the dumb “he teases you because he likes you” What people should explain is that the teasing is not a sign of respect and need to not waste your time on him until he can speak to you in an appropriate.”

    1. I don’t use that line to Little Mermaid. When she complains that someone is mean to her, I tell her to tell that person that it’s not nice and she doesn’t like it, and then I tell her to stop playing with him. I know Jade telling the other kid to stop probably won’t stop him from being mean to her, but I’m giving her practice time to verbalize her boundaries and be assertive. I don’t want her to grow up thinking it’s okay to be treated like that.

  2. “It’s when he loves another girl, but you still smile and say I’m happy for you, when all you really want to do is cry”. I don’t think this is realistic. I see that in Asian dramas all the time, but I think it’s hard for that to happen in real life. Love is selfish.

    And I do agree with you that the society should promote healthy relationships.

  3. I agree with your post and I want to add that it’s not just the ‘young people’ that doesn’t know how to have a healthy relationship. The divorce rate and affairs that run rampant are clear signs that adults don’t know how to have a healthy relationship either.

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