I know I’ve blogged about this before, but here I go again (more in depth) because I am very passionate about this topic.
It annoys me when people are constantly complaining about how much they’ve done for you and how you’ve never done anything in return. Or how it’s always a fight on who’s done more than who. Or how unappreciative you are of their goodwill.
Well, does it matter? Does it really matter? If you did something from the goodness of your heart, why does it matter if that person returned the favor? Any kind of favor in any way.
Some people live on the rule of karma. Do good and you shall receive good in return. Do bad, and your punishment will match your crime. So, when these people do good, they expect good in return.
I helped you out, so in the future, when I need you, you have to help me.
I’ve helped you out, so I would appreciate it if you don’t screw me over.
It’s like a lifetime debt sort of thing. Because even if you feel you’ve done a lot for them, these type of people will bring it up every time they feel like a victim to you. Every time you deny their requests for anything. Or every time you fail to be nice, to be considerate.
To me, it doesn’t work that way. I guess you can say that I’m kind of cynical when it comes to people. People don’t recognize your goodwill. They don’t. So, if you’re doing good deeds because you want to be recognized for it, then stop. Stop helping people. That shouldn’t be the basis of your goodwill.
I don’t want people to do something for me when they expect something in return. If that’s the reason for you helping me, I don’t want it. I don’t.
I do something for someone because I want to, not because I expect something in return or because I want to be remembered or recognized for it. I do something for someone because I love that person, I care, because I want to. I don’t want people to ever feel like they owe me because they don’t. My good deeds are from the goodness of my heart. (Yes, I am a contradictory person. I don’t believe in the goodness of people, but when I do something for someone, it comes from the bottom of my heart. I don’t expect anything from that person). And even if the person I helped screwed me over, I don’t hold a grudge and say, “I’ve done so much for you and this is how you repay me!” I don’t dwell on it.
I appreciate the people in my life. I appreciate everyone who has helped me in the past. I really do appreciate everyone and everything from the bottom of my heart. However, just because a person doesn’t appreciate you the way you want them to, it doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate you. To them, they probably feel that they’ve done a lot for you. Same as how you feel you’ve done a lot for them.