I called my kids to put on their shoes because we’re about to leave the kiddie play area at the mall.

As Little Mermaid and Mini Mermaid run up to me, I heard a man’s voice, “So, are they yours or are you the auntie?”

My first though was, “That’s a weird question to ask someone. Is he talking to me? And if he is, what kind of person would be interested in my children?” Sex offender/child molester came to mind.

I looked up and my heart started going 100 beats a minute. There standing less than 2 feet away from me was “Stalker Jeff.” (Don’t know who Stalker Jeff is?  Read this blog to find out).

“They’re mine,” I said as I turned back to put Mini Mermaid’s sandals on her.


Right at that moment, as if Little Mermaid had sensed something was wrong, she shouted for no apparent reason, “Mommy!”

“Oh, okay. I was just checking,” he said. Then he walked away.

After he left, I remembered my friend, Sam’s, recent encounter with him. He informed her that he liked the fact that she didn’t have any children. Children was a big no-no for him.  Thank goodness for my children.

Joe Tatum via Flickr

There are many types of stalkers. There are the rejected stalker, the resentful stalker, the predatory stalker, intimacy stalker, incompetent suitor, erotomaniac and morbidity infatuated, and in the World Wide Web—the cyberbully, or cyberstalker. You can read more about the different types of stalkers here.  (And maybe I’ll blog about them in depth in the future). Keep in mind that these different types are not mutually exclusive of each other.

Stalker Jeff seems to be the incompetent suitor. This type of stalker wants a romantic relationship with his/her victims, but lacks the social and dating skills to do so. This stalker is narcissistic and doesn’t have the ability to empathize with his/her victims. Sam told Jeff she didn’t want a romantic relationship with him because she is with someone else. He got angry and told her the only reason why he gave Sam his card was because he felt her “lingering,” i.e., she talked to him because she was romantically interested.

The incompetent suitor constantly calls or texts after he is rejected. Jeff doesn’t take no for an answer. There are numerous accounts of how he still pursued my friends after they have rejected him—even after they were mean to him. This stalker has a history of stalking others. I cannot emphasize how many women this man has harassed. It’s unbelievable! I’ve come to the point where I am no longer surprised when I meet someone and they tell me about Stalker Jeff. Lastly, the incompetent suitor is less persistent than other types. This person will stop when threatened with legal action or when this person seeks intervention for him/herself.

Stalker Jeff is always alone when he approaches you which makes me question whether or not he has any friends. And he only approaches you if you’re alone. He hangs around colleges, libraries, coffee shops, and bookstores. Of course, his ideal partner is an “intelligent, goal-oriented woman.” These would be the ideal places to find his ideal woman. I keep telling myself that my seeing him at the mall almost a week ago was just a mere coincidence. Just a coincidence.

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