I hear many people talk about love as something to fight for.  We see it and hear it everywhere: the media, online, friends, family, quotes.  If you search online for inspirational love quotes, you will come upon a feast of them.  Love is battlefield.  It’s us against the world.  Nothing can come between us.

If you’re in a healthy relationship, and you love that person, then by all means, fight for it.  Go against society and traditions.  Stand up for your love.  Do whatever it is you feel you need to do to make it last and worthwhile.

However, people tend to take these concepts of fighting for love and incorporate them into abusive relationships.  They may not be aware that they’re in an abusive relationship.  They tell themselves that love is a battlefield and if they fight and hold on to that person who mistreats them, everything will work out in the end.  My abuser will change; it’s just a matter of time.  And when friends and family try to intervene, they may see it as meddling (because their abuser says so) and then isolate themselves from their support system.

You deserve happiness.  You have the right to be treated with love and respect.  You have the right to love someone who will love you back and not abuse you.  When you come to love yourself, you gain so much.

6 thoughts on “Love and Respect

  1. Reblogged this on pajcaigaius and commented:
    I’ve had many friends who have survived and successfully moved on from abusive relationships of all sorts, physical, sexual, emotional and verbal, monetary and psychological, etc., and both men and women. Time and again, I try to help them understand the power of these words with their own story and I cannot save them…I can only stand by as I help them stand up for themselves. It is in standing with them that I lend courage. The strength is all their own.

    I love this entry.

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    1. Like you, I tell people that I cannot save or rescue them, tell them what to do, or make them do something they do not want to or are not ready to do. All we can do is educate them, let them know of their options, and let them make their choices. It is one of the hardest things I’ve had to learn to do.

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      1. I totally concur. It’s hard to sit back when you have to. Thanks for visiting my blog as well MB. I first heard of yours a month back and your stuff is great! Hmong Love!

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  2. Sigh… When it comes to this kind of situation, when you the person knows forsure you love that person. But have you ever put it into mind that does that person really loves you? Was it worth fighting for that one person? Was it the that your feelings are strong enough to get that person you wanted? But then are you positive that the person you are fighting for has your back up? have you ever been friends long enough to show an approval that he loves you dearly? My Advice to you is think about it before throwing yourself into a relationship. because its really ugly to see the mess up ahead of you.

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  3. Just wanted to share one of my favorite quotes that speaks to this topic as well: “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” – Oscar Wilde

    I truly believe in the power of love. I also agree that many (perhaps misrepresentation through media) mistake love for abuse, desire, anger and many other emotions that is not love. If we truly embrace and understand love, it is beautiful. I don’t believe that love is painful. Emotions of anger, jealousy, hurt, sad, etc derives from our desires/expectations but that does not define love. Be aware of your thoughts and emotions; where do they come from and how are they formed.

    I do not wish to define love for anyone but simply share my thoughts.

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