Mini Mermaid told me the other day that she wants to get married in the future but does not want to have any children. This isn’t the first time she has informed me of her choice to be child-free. She is going to marry at age 29 to the person she loves and likes. She doesn’t want any children because she doesn’t want to take care of them. “I don’t want to feed it, wash poop, and wake up at night time,” she said. This child will be 6 in a couple of months.
Besides marriage, she wants to be a rock star with a cool electric guitar like Rainbow Dash, a firefighter, and a police officer. Her favorite superhero is Superman and favorite Disney princess is Queen Elsa.
What does a parent do when she hears that her child doesn’t want any children? You accept it and let it be. As she grows, she may change her mind or she may not. Regardless, it is her life and her decision and in no way should I do anything else besides support that choice.
It is hard for me to be silent when Mini Mermaid tells other people this and they don’t agree, but I do just let her talk. She can stand her ground when talking to adults about this topic. Why she has to defend herself on this topic, I wonder. I mean, she’s just a child. Her worries should be kindergarten, playtime, and friends. It makes no sense for me when an adult tells a child they must have children when they grow up and they need to want it now.
My family gives me a lot of pressure to have more children.
“You have to have more!”
“You must have at least a son.”
“You can’t stop at two.”
“What does your husband think?”
My family wants me to have at least two more sons. Again, the issue of sons. Sometimes, these conversations make me feel as if it is my sole duty as a woman to only bare sons. I pick and choose my battles on this topic. If I have the energy, I tell them no way; I will not have any more children and argue my point. And other times, I nod and say, “Okay, we’ll try to see if we have any more children,” just to appease them for the moment.
When my daughters were babies, I used to wonder if they will get the same pressure to have children, to have sons. After seeing that people are already telling the one who doesn’t want any children that she must have children, I no longer wonder. Even my older child who says she wants to have only one child will probably get pressured to have more children. It just doesn’t stop.