Desensitized to Racism

During a workshop on diversity, the facilitator put everyone into groups and asked us to discuss our most recent experience of racism. Everyone in my group was stumped. We could not think of a time when we felt someone was being racist towards us. I thought out loud to the group, "Maybe we can't think…

Hmong Wife vs. Hmong Girlfriend

I have been noticing a trend as friends and family are getting married over the recent years. I have observed that it is completely okay for a girlfriend to lack in the cooking, cleaning, and other "womenly" duties department, but once she's married, she is expected to conform to traditional roles. What is the difference…

Letter to the Girlfriend of my Abusive Ex

Dear girlfriend of my abusive ex; We don't know each other, but I am sure you have heard a lot about me, as I have about you.  I am the crazy psycho ex-girlfriend of your boyfriend.  It has been brought to my attention that my name is still being uttered in your presence---by him and…

On Santa’s Lap

The holidays are approaching.  The mall just had their tree-lighting ceremony last weekend.  I already see Christmas decorations and Christmas merchandise in department stores way before Halloween.  Every year, Christmas seems to start earlier and earlier. One of my family's Christmas traditions is to take a walk down Christmas Tree Lane.  Three years ago, we…

How to Train Your Man

I will never forget a conversation I had with an acquaintance of mine.  Seeing how "well-behaved" my spouse is, she asked how I trained him so well. "Excuse me?" I asked, confused as to what she was referring to. "I mean, train him to be such a good husband.  He lets you go out with…

Love and Respect

I hear many people talk about love as something to fight for.  We see it and hear it everywhere: the media, online, friends, family, quotes.  If you search online for inspirational love quotes, you will come upon a feast of them.  Love is battlefield.  It's us against the world.  Nothing can come between us. If…

Hmong Beauty

One question  I get asked a lot growing up is, "What is Hmong?"  It was annoying, but I have grown to live with it and answer it accordingly to how I feel at the moment and by whom. Another question I get asked as much is, "Are you really Hmong?" The former is asked by…