BOF Day of Action: Sacramento, CA

Hello, everyone! I've already posted this on my Facebook Page, but I'll post it here for those who do not have a Facebook account. The Building Our Future Sacramento Team has been working very hard at organizing our upcoming BOF event. If you are in the Sacramento area, I would like to invite you to…

Building Our Future: Champions Against Abusive International Marriages

The first time I heard about abusive international marriages (AIM) was at the Hmong National Development Conference in Fresno, CA in April 2013. Presented by Kabzuag Vaj (Freedom Inc), Nancy Xiong (George Mason University), and Pa Vang (University of Wisconsin), "Abusive International Marriage - Transnational Domestic Violence" was a workshop to present a report about AIM…

Letter to the Girlfriend of my Abusive Ex

Dear girlfriend of my abusive ex; We don't know each other, but I am sure you have heard a lot about me, as I have about you.  I am the crazy psycho ex-girlfriend of your boyfriend.  It has been brought to my attention that my name is still being uttered in your presence---by him and…

Love and Respect

I hear many people talk about love as something to fight for.  We see it and hear it everywhere: the media, online, friends, family, quotes.  If you search online for inspirational love quotes, you will come upon a feast of them.  Love is battlefield.  It's us against the world.  Nothing can come between us. If…

My Mermaid (Prologue)

This blog post is part of the My Mermaid series. Click on the link below to take you to the previous post: Introduction My father was abusive, so it was bittersweet when he left.  I was 12 years old.  I thought life would be better now.  Little did I know that was just the beginning.…

The Butterfly

The butterfly Author Unknown One day, a man was walking and found a butterfly still inside of its cocoon. He looked closer and saw that the butterfly was working very hard to fit its body through a tiny, tiny hole in the cocoon so it could get out and fly around. The man decided to…

Two Sides to Every Story

  A woman told me years ago that she understands the dynamics of domestic violence. She understands that there are many different types of abuse: verbal, mental, physical, etc.  But she also understands that sometimes women provoke a man to abuse them.  (???)  I quote her when I write this, "If she brings out the…

Survivor

Why am I passionate about empowering individuals and families affected by domestic violence?  Why am I dedicated to work towards societal change, even if I probably will not see it in my lifetime?  Am I a survivor?  Since it's Halloween---my favorite holiday of the year---I will tell you my personal horror story. I am a…

The Hmong: Slow to change

The Hmong community is slowly turning around---and I do stress the word "slowly."  It has taken the patriarchal Hmong society 30 years in the US to finally realize that we have a problem with domestic violence (DV). In July of this year, a conference called “Breaking the Silence Collaboratively: Creating Healthy Families for the Present & Future”…